Fear Factor YYH
by Lily Kalanoa
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if the YYH peeps went on Fear Factor? This is just my twisted idea of how that might come out. Some mild yaoi. More disclaimers inside. Enjoy


Hello my tolerating public! I had forgoten to post this, oops. It's my second entry for Rose Thorne's YYH contest. Check out her stories and her site if you want to know more. I don't have much to say about it, except that I own neither the anime or the TV show. This is just my take on what would happen if everyone's favorite detective team was put on the reality show Fear Factor. Heh, title says it all, don't it? So, enjoy this fic, try not to laugh to hard. Please flame as much as you would like ^_^

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*The following program contains graphic scenes. Veiwer discretion is advised.*

Imagine a world where your greatest fears become reality; Welcome to fear factor. Each show six contestants from around the country battle each other in three extreme stunts. These stunts are designed to challenge the contestants both physically and mentally. If a contestant is too afraid to complete a stunt, they're eliminated. If they fail a stunt, they're eliminated. But if they succeed they will be one step closer to the grand prize, 50 thousand dollars. Six contestants. Three stunts. One winner.

Fear factor.

(Camera goes to a close up of the host.)

I'm Joe Rogan and this is fear factor. The stunts you are about to see were all designed and supervised by trained professionals. They are extremely dangerous and should not be attempted by anyone, anytime, anywhere. Today we have a very special show for you all. We have gathered together six creatures – human and not – to compete for us today. Six beings that work for, or are at least connected to the Rekai Tantei and the Makai and Reikai worlds.

(Camera shows four boys walking along an empty lot.)

(Camera zooms in on Yuusuke and the following information appears on the screen.) Name: Yuusuke Urameshi. Home: Japan, Ningenkai. Occupation: Reikai Tantei leader and one-third ruler of the Makai. Yuusuke is smirking, of course, and his voiceover begins. "It's never easy to find a good fight, now I think that I may have found one. This really isn't my thing, I mean the whole competition thing. But I simply can't pass up an opportunity to beat the others. I only hope they won't bite it too badly. Hope they hold no grudges when I win."

(Camera swwitches to Kuwabara, giving stats as his voiceover begins.) "Yeah, this will be pretty cool. The money is a great prize, I could buy anything I want! Anime, gifts for Yukina-chan, hent- I mean, uh, magazines. But that's not why I'm here. I just want to show up Urameshi. Ha! I can't wait to see the look on his face. I just hope I don't have to, you know, eat any rats or something. Uh, bad mental image, I think I'm going to be sick . . ." Name: Kazuma Kuwabara. Home: Japan, Ningenkai. Occupation: Reikai Tantei member.

(Camera switches to a scowling Hiei.) Name: Hiei. Home: Makai. Occupation: (reluctant) Rekai Tanei member. "Hn. This ningen thrill show is truly one of the stupidest I've seen in my time. As I understand it, it is a series of tests that I will be able to beat, most likely, in my sleep. So, I do not understand why I was the one invited to compete. Surely my only competition will be my fox. I don't know what I'll do with the money, I'm sure I can think of something. Perhaps something slick for Kurama . . ."

(Camera goes to the final boy, Kurama.) Name: Shuiichi Minamono, AKA Youko Kurama. Home: Japan, Ningenkai. Occupation: Reikai Tantei member, occasional theif. "I've never really liked competition like this. When I was growing up, I was always better than everyone else and when I beat them all, it drew unwanted attention to myself. Even now, I often win in everything I do, Makai fighting tournaments not withstanding. Still, in this case, I think the prize is worth it. I can't wait to see the look on my ha ha's[1] face when I give her the prize money. Of course, I'll keep something for Hiei and myself."

The four come up to Joe, who's smiling in front of a curtain. "How's everybody doing? You four people have been brought here from for one reason, to stare fear in the eye as you compete for 50 thousand dollars. To win the money you're gonna have to complete three extreme stunts. Stunts that will not only test you phyisically, but mentally as well. If you are too afraid to attempt a stunt you'll be eliminated, try a stunt but fail to complete it, you're gone. But if you do succeed you move onto the next round and are that much closer to the cash.

"Now, as you may or may not be aware, this show normally requires six contestants. Today is no exception. However, given your . . . unique abillities, some changes had to be made to the routine of things."

Koenma, in his bishounen form, walks from behind the curtain. He smiles at the others from around his pacifier. "The producers really wanted to make this episode, so they asked for my input. We had to desiegn the stunts to avoid any of you having and unfair advantadge. We also had to decide on two final people to fill out the six. You may come out now."

From behind the curtain, Yukina and Karasu step forward. Hiei and Kuwabara both take a surprised step back and begin speaking in unison. "Yukina? What are you doing?! You can't do something like this!" They stop and glare at each other.

Kurama, however, leaps back several paces and holds Yuusuke in front of him like a shield. "Koenma, what are you thinking! Karasu? I mean, really. Karasu!"

"Yes, Kurama. Karasu. Really, he's the perfect contestant."

"Come now, my pretty little fox, Koenma and I have made an agreement. When I win, he gets the money and I get a second chance, much like your shield there."

Kurama seems to realize Yuusuke again and releases his grip. "Uh, sorry."

Yuusuke rubs his arms. "Geez, Kurama. I'm gonna have bruises tomorrow!"

Joe clears his throat, bringing attention back to him. "OK. Now, if you'll direct your attention above you, the first stunt is waiting." Everyone looks up and the camera follows. Two platforms are suspended high above the ground, connected by a thin beam. "You will traverse from one platform to the other across that beam only four inches wide. The four to make it across in the fastest time will continue to the next round."

"You're kidding me, right? The fastest person wins? Can I just move on now?"

Koenma crosses his arms and frowns. "Shut up, fire demon. It's not that easy, you know. I realized that you can outrun everyone else without breaking a sweat. But can you do it in two foot stilts up there in the strong wind?" Hiei glares at the demi-god, but shuts up.

The camera goes back to Joe "Now we have randomally selected who gets to go first and Kazuma you are lucky number one." Joe and Kuwabara walk over to get ready. "All right Kazuma you're going first so you're setting the bar"

"Right, it shouldn't be all that tough. Hope I can do it fast." The next scene shows Kuwabara in a harness high on the first platform. He gives a thumbs up and gets ready to go. He takes a step forward in the stilts, wobbles, and falls backwrads to grab onto the railing.

Joe calls up from the ground. "All right. Remember, four fastest times move on. On my count. Three. Two. One. GO!"

 Kuwabara takes off, slowly. One foot in front of the other, as they say. He wobbles, nearly falls, but steadies himself. From below, loud jeers and taunts rise on the wind, mostly coming from Hiei's lips. In all that taunting, Yukina's voice can be heard with encouragements. After nearly a dozen close calls, he makes it to the other platform and refuses to let go of the railings. "All right, I've done it, now get me down! I want dooown!!!!"

The next scene, Joe jogs up to Kuwabara. "So how'd that feel? You got through it with a time of one forty-two."

"I made it, that's the important thing. I am _never_ going back up there ever ever again."

Joe laughs and other laughs can be heard off screen. "Well, it's over now. Next up you get to watch one of the others make a fool of themselves. And the lucky player is the one and only Kurama."

The next scene is Kurama ready on the platform and a voice over starts. "I'm not looking forward to the stunt tomorrow. I'm going to have to eat something disgusting, I just know it. I'm not worried about today though, I'm a theif by nature. I should be fine with balance."

Joe calls up from the ground after Kurama gives the thumbs up. "Get ready! Three. Two. One. GO!" Kurama takes off at a slow pace. Slowly he increases speed, finally reaching a light jog. Kurama reaches the other platform with a only a slight wobble. The fox grips the railing and flashes a V sign at the camera. Once on the ground, Joe pats Kurama on the back "Good job, One minute eight. How'd you feel up there?"

"Well, I was a master theif in Makai for several centuries. One would think my balance is pretty good." The overconfident youko takes a single step on the even ground and topples to the ground. He rolls over, blushing a brilliant scarlet, and reaches to undo the stilts. "Guess I should take these off . . ."

Joe is laughing as he comes over to the others. "Well, next up is Yuusuke. Get to it, buddy."

The next scene is Yuusuke on the platform and a voiceover. "This is going to be so simple. Everyone knows that only Hiei can beat me in speed, and even then just barely. Half a minute, tops." Joe counts him down and Yuusuke takes off in a flat out run. Three steps later, he finds himself in freefall. One should _never_ be overconfident.

And speaking of overconfidence . . . Joe is laughing again as he looks at the others. "All right, Hiei, you're up." The two of them walk away from the group and Hiei starts getting into the falling harness. "So, you just saw Yusuke take a pretty big fall. How does that make you feel? Any worries?"

"Hn. That idiot ningen got what he deserved. What's more, he saved me from making the same mistake. We may be the fastest, but if I use all my speed right away, I'll just repeat him. If I start slowly, I'll be fine and still make it well under a minute." Once Hiei is on the first platform, Joe counts him down and he starts off. He stands motionless for a moment, apparently getting the feel of the stilts before he continiues. Much to his credit, the overanxious fire demon does take his advice and starts slowly. He makes it almost half way across before his footing fails and he finds out just how it feels to fly without wings.

Hiei comes back to the group pouting and muttering curses in several Makai languages. Kurama smiles at him, getting a feral look in his eye. "You know, Hiei, you're _awfully _cute when you pout like that . . ." The fox pounces Hiei and pins him with a long, deep kiss.

Karasu's eyes start to gleam as he realizes that public affection won't get him kicked off the show. He grabs a handful of Kurama's hair, pulling the fox up for a kiss of his own as he drops his silver mask. He is mere inches from Kurama's lips when he's interruppted by Joe practically screaming his name. The black haired demon turns his head, glaring daggers at Joe and daring him to continiue. Joe clears his throat and makes sure Koenma is between him and the surly demon. "It's your turn on the high beam, Karasu."

Reluctantly, Karasu lets Kurama go and stalks away to get into the harness. Everyone can hear distinct mutterings of "Almost had him. Stupid ningen, just another couple seconds . . ." Once on the platform, Joe counts him down and Karasu bounds onto the balance beam. He runs, nearly full speed, until he reaches the other platform and the safety rail. When he is on the ground again, he removes the stilts and smirks at Hiei. "Didn't someone say something about 'it couldn't be done at full speed'? Hiei? Don't you remember hearing that?"

Hiei mutters something unintelligable and reaches for the wards on his arm. Kurama grabs him with a warning look and calms the irate demon.

Joe smiles and walks over to stand beside Yukina. "All right, Karasu's time was forty five seconds. So long as you make it across, Yukina-chan, you're in. But you've got to get a good time for bragging rights."

Yukina smiles ever so sweetly and bows. "I hope I will not dissapoint." Yukina walks gracefully over to get ready. She puts the harness on over her kimono and puts the stilts on without removing her temple sandles. "I'm ready." She goes to the platform and waits for the signal. 

While she is being raised into the air, the reaction on the ground is very mixed. Hiei is watching closely with a great deal of concern on his face while Kuwabara screams encouragements up at his beloved. Karasu looks at the girl for a while before snorting loudly. "She'll never make it, she has no idea what she's doing."

Kuwabara blinks at him and balls his hands into fists. "What are you talking about? Yukina-chan is strong and brave and smart and she can do anything she wants!"

Karasu snorts again. "That weakling is better suited to proper woman's duties. She's puny, should be in the kitchen, not competing in hopeless battles against men."

Pushed over the edge by those words, Hiei tackles Karasu, bringing Kuwabara into the fight as well. After a few minutes, Yukina walks over and breaks it up. Hiei blinks at her in amazement. "Yukina-san? What happened?"

"She finished while you were all fighting," Kurama intones.

Joe nods and smiles. "Made it safely in fifety-eight seconds. Why don't you all head back to the hotel for some rest. Tomorrow's going to be a big day."

The next scene is Kurama, Karasu, Yukina, and Kuwabara walking through a factory at night. Karasu's voiceover is the first we hear. "Yesterday was sort of a disappointment to me. I _almost_ had my fox. But I'll be keeping my eyes open today for another shot. I will win this, and I'll make sure I get him as my prize."

Kuwabara's voiceover is next. "Man, today is going to be pretty bad. I just know we're going to have to eat something really gross. Yuck. And poor Yukina-chan. I don't want to embarrass her on TV, but I have to beat her sooner or later. I hope she forgives me. I'll buy her something nice with the prize money."

Kurama is next. "Yesterday was truly frightening. I have to remember to thank Joe again for that terrific save. And you can bet I'll be keeping an eye on the psyco today. I hope the stunt isn't too bad. Maybe we'll get to eat bute[2], that's a rather tastey treat in some parts of Asia."

Finally Yukina's voiceover ends the second introduction. "I think everyone underestimated me yesterday. I think they'll do the same today. I guess that's all right, it gives me an advantadge, right? I look forward to showing them what I truly can do."

The four come to rest in front of Joe and Koenma, in his toddler form today. Joe smiles and greets the contestants. "Are you all ready for today's stunt? What did you think about yesterday? Pretty bad, huh? Did you think it could be any worse today? Well, I'll let you be the judge of that." Koenma pulls the black tarp off of the large tank beside them. "You will each lay in this glass coffin. You will then be covered in these three types of creepy crawlies. Over your legs, you're going to feel scorpions crawling. Over your torso, a wide selection of snakes. And sitting up with your head, these nice, plump rats. Three minutes like that and you move on to the next round."

"No way, uh-uh! No way am I letting some disgusting rodents crawl over my lovely face!"

Karasu smirks at the screaming red-head. "Why, Kuwabara, I didn't know you were afraid of mice. I'll have to remember that." Karasu picks up one of the rats and swings it at Kuwabara. The ningen screams and runs out of the factory, followed by sadistic laughter.

"Just for that," Koenma growls, "You go first, smarty pants."

Karasu shrugs and lies in the glass box, waiting patiently as he is covered in animals. As the three minutes pass, Kurama leans over to Yukina. "Are you sure you want to do this? Hiei would never forgive me if you got stung or bitten."

Yukina smiles sweetly, beaming up at the fox. "Oh, Kurama. It's so sweet of you and Hiei-san to worry over me so much. But really, I'll be fine. If I were you-" Time is called and Karasu climbs out of the box, freeing it for Yukina next. "-I'd be more worried about three minutes out here alone with him."

Kurama pales as Karasu takes up position beside him to watch Yukina. "I hadn't thought of that . . ."

Inside the glass coffin, Yukina lies peacefully as the animals are poured over her. Amazingly, all the animals as well simply lie there peacefully as the timer starts. Watching on, Karasu slowly inches towards Kurama who, in reply, inches away. The two of them make it almost clear around the box before time is called and Yukina steps out.

Kurama practically leaps into the box to get away from his pursuer. As the snakes are poured onto him, his eyes widen slightly in fear. "Don't some snakes _eat_ foxes?" The animals are nowhere near as docile as they were with Yukina, but despite his fears, Kurama gets through the three minutes.

Once Kurama is out, Joe smiles at the three of them. "Congratulations. You have one more stunt remaining. So let's get out of here and find out what we have in store for you next. See you tomorrow."

The next scene is the three finalists walking down bleachers. Today, Kurama's voiceover is the first. "I hadn't thought anything could be worse than a near kiss from Karasu. Yesterday showed me that there are _far_ worse things. I only hope I can get through today with my skin intact."

Karasu's voiceover is next. "Again, I was so close! But I've almost won this competition and then nothing will stop me from having my fox. So long as that little Koorime brat stays out of my way. Honestly, such weakness has no place in a competition like this. I hope she fails miserably today."

Again, Yukina's voice closes the opening. "I enjoyed the last stunt very much. The animals were so very kind, I only hope that today is just as fun."

The three reach the bottom only to see a smiling Joe and Koenma, in bishie form again. Joe motions to the race track behind them. "Welcome to the final stunt. What a fun couple of days we've had! First you all braved the high beam in those horrid winds, then the glass coffin and animals. And today, one of you is going to walk away with 50 thousand dollars." Behind him, four cars race past. Stunned gasps come from all three contestants.

Koenma can actually be heard giggling. "I thought this would be a fitting final stunt. Of course, it's far to dangerous for any humans, lucky for us, our finalists are all very talented youkai! There is a flag attached to each of those cars. You much leap from one car to the next, gathering all the flags."

Joe pats Kurama on the back. "We have randomly selected who goes first, and today you are lucky number one."

"Gee, lucky me." The next scene, Kurama is crouched on top of one of the cars.

"Now remember," Joe calls, "you can't start moving until the cars reach forty miles per hour. You'll hear a horn, then you can begin." Kurama nods and the cars start. A few moments pass before Kurama gets the signal to start. Quickly, he grabs the flag on the car he's on and leaps to the next. He takes a second to steady himself, using the specialy added pole on the roof. He grabs the second flag and looks to the next car. After waiting for the cars to round the curve, he jumps and grabs the third flag. 

Finally, Kurama leaps to the final car. However, before he can even properly regain his balance, he leaps off again. He lands in a crouch on the grass beside the track, glaring at Karasu as the fourth car explodes. The black haired demon's eyes twinkle as he obviously smiles broadly under his mask. "Well, I couldn't let you beat _me_!"

"You could have killed me!" Kurama lunges for the other man, but is easily avoided.

"Come, come, my little fox. It would take much more than that to kill Kurama, the legendary Makai theif!"

The next scene shows Karasu crouched atop the car, mask cracked and nose bloody. He does not look happy. Joe signals the cars to begin and a few moments later, the horn signals Karasu to start. He grabs the first flag and moves immediately to the next car, screaming as he jumps "I will win this and then you won't be able to escape me fox!" However, overconfident as he is – we've all seen by now what happens to overconfident people – Karasu lands on the second car just as it begins a turn. Karasu reaches for the pole to steady himself, but it's no good. Very suddenly, there is a Karasu shaped dent in the concrete barrier surrounding the track.

Kurama is on the ground, unable to stand through his laughter as Joe moves up to Yukina. "Well, we've seen two failures on this most difficult stunt. Is it time to show everyone just what 'girl power' can do?" Yukina gives her sweetest smile and a small giggle.

The next scene shows Yukina on top of the first car, still in her elegant kimono and temple sandals. The cars start and the horn sounds and Yukina transfers the first flag from the pole onto her obi[3]. She leaps gracefully to the next car, then the next, repeating her movements of collecting the flag each time until she has the last flag clipped to her obi.

The car stops and Yukina jumps down, running over to to others. Joe takes the flags, counting out all four and making it official. "Well, you did it, you got across the high beam; you got through the critter coffin. You were the only one to complete this stunt and you are the fear factor champion. Congratulations and evidently fear is not a factor for you!"

Karasu growls loudly, pieces of broken mask falling around his shoulders. "This is rediculous. Such an obviously inferior, _weak_ girl! She would have lost to my fox if I hadn't stopped him!"

Koenma looks up to where the clock is. "Actually, Yukina touched on the last car more than five seconds before Kurama." Yukina absolutely beams and Kurama pats her on the back in congratulations.

Karasu growls again, louder this time. "Well, I'm still going to get _my_ prize." He lunges for the distracted Kurama. Barely noticing the threat in time, Kurama grabs Koanma, thrusting him out as a human – godling? – shield.

A loud explosion is heard as Karasu's lips contact the god's instead of his intended target. He pulls away to reveal Koenma's face charred black and his hair sticking straight out like in an old Looney Toons cartoon. The infuriated god grabs Karasu roughly by the ear like a mother scolding her baby. "That's it! Back to Reikai for you!"

Kurama runs off despite the fact that Karasu is no longer a threat, screaming for Hiei to comfort him. The screen fades to black and the credits of the show begin.

***

[1] In all my reading of YYH fanfics, I've always seen writers have Kurama refer to his mother as 'Kassan or Okassan and admittadly, I've been guilty of this as well. However, you only refer to someone _else's_ mother this way. You call your own mother Ha Ha. (Incidentally, your father is Chi Chi.)

[2] Bute is a fertalized duck egg that has developed partly. Inside the shell, you are eating a half formed baby duck. This is a popular stunt on Fear Factor and atually _is_ a common snack in South Korea or Vietnam or some smaller Asian country (I forget which one _).

[3] Now, probably, most of the otakus out there know what an obi is. But, just in case you don't, an obi is the sach tied around the waist of a woman's kimono.

Anyway, that wasn't _too_ horrible, was it? If you like the idea of Fear Factor and would like to see it, it's on NBC Mondays at 8:00 PM, though I can't be sure of summer or local scheduals. I did take liberties with the show's routine, but most of it is right on the money. I hope. Well, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! ^_^


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